Jennifer Nguyen for THE NT NEWS.

THE bank accounts of French individuals identifying as nationalists have been frozen indefinitely.

The NT News has received word that victims of the cyber scandal had a deep rooted financial interests in the USA, mainly investing this money for the import of deep fried escargot from Michigan (also, the starting location for Gangnam style hit maker, Psy kicking off his global tour).

The delegate for France is concerned about invasion of French citizen’s freedom and is currently pressing for worldwide jurisdiction to combat cyber attacks at SAMUNC 14.

Experts are with growing suspicion that the hindering attack originated somewhere in South East Asia drawing comparisons with hacking techniques employed by the DPRK’s online attacks on UK based insurance agencies.

UPDATE: The NT News understands that the main device used for hacking is a 2001 Compaq PC which has been updated with Minesweeper at the request of cyber terrorists waiting for dial up connection.


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